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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 16, 2017 1:49:19 GMT -5
So. Tricky is dealing with the SS Argo-Lictor HR department sorting out the manning levels, Trooper is on lunch, Chem is conducting his secondary duty of galley hand / mess steward, Ensign Control Panel is in sick bay after Chem broke her jaw and I'm here writing in the ships log ...
Who's driving ?
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 16, 2017 6:24:26 GMT -5
I think we're on autopilot going to specsavers but seeing as were on psychic relocation I say we are now in orbit just off the forest moon of Endor, about to be attacked by teddy bears in space suits who have recently invented teddy chainsaws.
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 20, 2017 4:23:11 GMT -5
*Admiral Ackbar voice* "IT'S A TRAP!!!"
*Deploys the anti-teddy bear electroshock netting*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 20, 2017 4:41:59 GMT -5
*The pungent odor of frazzled teddy-bear fills my nostrils?* "The netting isn't enough ... Teddy-Bear Storm Troopers are cutting through the ships hull ... what do we do Captain"?
(Thinks ... we could have thrown the power salmon at the Teddy-Bears but Chem has just grilled them and served them up to Trooper for his supper).
"Who is the Captain anyway" ?
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 20, 2017 6:36:14 GMT -5
*Pulls the handle to deploy the soft cheese hull patch globules*
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 20, 2017 7:03:50 GMT -5
Captain Birdseye? Only the best for the Captain's table. And fish fingers.
Why is this happening? We need to think back.... Someone with power... The Forest Moon and the teddy bears... It's got to be Keyser Soze!
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 20, 2017 14:27:41 GMT -5
Captain Birdseye? Only the best for the Captain's table. And fish fingers. Why is this happening? We need to think back.... Someone with power... The Forest Moon and the teddy bears... It's got to be Keyser Soze Sheevy Palps! Fixed it for you.
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 20, 2017 19:28:43 GMT -5
Old Captain Birdseye or Young Captain Birdseye?
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 21, 2017 4:33:23 GMT -5
Self-Inflicted (as part of an insidious plot) Force Lightning Bacon Birdseye?
*Hands out party hats to all present*
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 21, 2017 10:02:51 GMT -5
Dead Captain Birdseye. He got .... Reanimated.
*Also reanimates Trooper and a random street cat with a swift injection of glowing green serum, straight from Doctor West's laboratory.*
*Provides Trooper with a hedge trimmer*
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 21, 2017 18:21:32 GMT -5
As long as he kept his beard.
Aw, a cute zombie cat. I'll call him Mr. Smelly!.
*Throws Mr. Smelly a straw.*
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 23, 2017 10:28:02 GMT -5
Throwing Jack Straw at Mr Smelly was a horrible thing to do. Think of the politicians!
*Calls the Arena Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Furry Animals and Cylindical Plastic Beakers*
Why isn't the vox-net working?
*throws the vox-caster at Zombie Trooper*
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 23, 2017 18:24:34 GMT -5
The vox-net caught a radio-fish and got quite disrupted.
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 25, 2017 10:58:32 GMT -5
There's no "Captain Birdseye" on the mainifest. Ive got it here on my hand ... No Captain Birdseye.
There's a Captain Caveman, Captain Chaos (we need to keep an eye on that phokre), Captain Kangaroo and a Captain TE Lawrence (later to be Colonel).
No Captain Birdseye . I suspect an imposter or a stowaway or a combination of the two !!!
*siezes the suspect by the unconvincing false beard, flicks the Toys'r'us panto cap from his head and rips off ropey rubber mask ... TO REVEAL .....*
*Passes out from excitement requiring another crew member to complete the sentence*.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 26, 2017 8:09:21 GMT -5
No, that's impossible. Male unicorns don't exist.
In fact I'm calling the A.I.D. (that's the Arena CID by the way), you should be in prison.
*Starts reading the phone directory in an attempt not to look at the Birdeye/ Manicorn abomination*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 26, 2017 12:59:09 GMT -5
*regains consciousness ... Sees uni-corny-man ... falls unconscious again*
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 26, 2017 17:50:46 GMT -5
*Steps out of the SIDRAT and starts flinging freshly-baked, cheesy Italian meatballs at the Un-man-i-corn*
OI YOU!!! No Beastmen allowed! Get outta 'ere ya git!
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 26, 2017 18:49:55 GMT -5
MEATBALLS !!! My favourite !!! *runs off to knock up some spaghetti and secret ragu sauce*
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 28, 2017 4:35:03 GMT -5
*Runs into the SIDRAT, suitcase in hand*
I know the Count Room is in here somewhere..
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 28, 2017 4:57:46 GMT -5
*returns with a large pot of piping hot spaghetti* (lightly drizzled with the finest olive oil, flavoured with a liberal scattering of tarragon and cumin, seasoned with salt and pepper served with a cluster of fresh parsley on top)
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 28, 2017 8:25:01 GMT -5
I feel the meatballs don't encourage the pirate theme we have going with the airship and the zombies and the dead parakeets, so the meatballs need to..
*drum roll*
Walk the plank!
*forces the meatballs onto the plank*
It's a long way down! Har! Har!
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 29, 2017 4:06:15 GMT -5
*Places tiny pirate hats, eye patches, parrots, peg legs, and hook hands on the meatballs*
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 29, 2017 4:22:28 GMT -5
*Fires a battlecannon at the meatballs, placing a large blast marker template over them and rolling for scatter, 7th edition style*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 29, 2017 4:53:37 GMT -5
*Flings gouts of hot spaghetti at the piratical meatballs ... (using a template 7th Ed flamer styleee gaining automatic hits on the prates)*
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 29, 2017 6:05:31 GMT -5
This ignores cover and it's AP4.
*Pours curry sauce all over the meatballs, representing an Eradicator Nova Cannon shot effect.*
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