Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2007 12:58:38 GMT -5
The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart
50º Fahrenheit (10 C) Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians plant gardens.
35º Fahrenheit (1.6 C) Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.
32º Fahrenheit (0 C) American water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
0º Fahrenheit (-17.9 C) New York City landlords finally turn on the heat. Canadians have the last cookout of the season.
-60º Fahrenheit (-51 C) Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-100º Fahrenheit (-73 C) Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
-173º Fahrenheit (-114 C) Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-460º Fahrenheit (-273 C) Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold eh?"
-500º Fahrenheit (-295 C) Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.
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Post by Commissar on Sept 23, 2007 15:16:44 GMT -5
XD OMG. OMG. OMG. The toronto maple leafs win the stanley cup XD.
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Post by Cadian 117 on Sept 25, 2007 22:58:02 GMT -5
lol. I loled -500º Fahrenheit (-295 C) Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2007 23:59:55 GMT -5
Converting The Bear..
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So, I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
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Post by twerd on Sept 28, 2007 21:56:22 GMT -5
heheh thats very funny i loled
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Post by Cadian 117 on Sept 28, 2007 23:21:42 GMT -5
I loled too!
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Post by Commissar on Sept 30, 2007 3:03:28 GMT -5
I LoLed so hard I shat my pants and the pants of everybody in the neighborhood!
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Post by twerd on Sept 30, 2007 23:32:41 GMT -5
too far mate
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Post by thefishki345 on Oct 1, 2007 0:52:26 GMT -5
yeh I agree with twerd lol. but haha that was funny.
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Post by Commissar on Oct 1, 2007 7:36:51 GMT -5
Or maybe not far enough!!!
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Post by Cadian 117 on Oct 1, 2007 16:19:46 GMT -5
Man I think I laughed so hard I got diarhea for a week! uh nj
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Post by Commissar on Oct 1, 2007 16:57:22 GMT -5
I once laughed so hard I crapped out my own arse!
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Post by Cadian 117 on Oct 2, 2007 15:38:03 GMT -5
I laughed so hard at school one day I peed on the kid in front of me. uh jk
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Post by Commissar on Oct 2, 2007 18:16:50 GMT -5
LoL, i once laughed so hard my arms fell off.
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Post by Cadian 117 on Oct 2, 2007 18:35:42 GMT -5
I once laughed so hard that I farted sneezed and burbed twice before my head exploded.
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Post by twerd on Oct 2, 2007 19:04:43 GMT -5
yep too far guys
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Post by Commissar on Oct 3, 2007 8:57:37 GMT -5
LoL, yeah. Way too far.
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Post by Cadian 117 on Oct 3, 2007 18:53:57 GMT -5
ah but that means not far enough! I once laughed so hard i shat on another planet killing its inhabitents and leaving a small trace of water. It is now known as mars.
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Post by Commissar on Oct 3, 2007 21:45:03 GMT -5
LoL, yes! Lets push the limits of going off topic!
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Post by Cadian 117 on Oct 3, 2007 22:11:59 GMT -5
YES WE SHALL HAHA! AGIAN! *shoots twerd in the lungs!* I am now the commissar's secretary! (someone has to file the money and bodies )
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Post by twerd on Oct 3, 2007 22:56:57 GMT -5
*shoots cadian's left hand off*
try filing now
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Post by Commissar on Oct 3, 2007 23:34:36 GMT -5
LoL, thats funny. *Shoots off twerds hands and feet* Try shooting my assistant now!
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Post by Cadian 117 on Oct 4, 2007 7:53:25 GMT -5
*looks at gone left hand and blood spurting,sad music plays,* NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Commissar on Oct 4, 2007 12:23:56 GMT -5
*Throws a robotic super hand*
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Post by Cadian 117 on Oct 4, 2007 16:22:44 GMT -5
*puts on robotic super hand!*
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