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Post by Julian Sharps on Jun 11, 2009 14:39:20 GMT -5
You can just see him leading the charge, swearing and ordering his men forward, and occasionally blasting a space marine in to a thousand pieces with his shotgun. "Damn it man, they're just marines! Get that plasma gun on them! Reds, move up the heavy flamer, go go go! I want those namby-pamby Iron Warriors deader than a gretchin with a chainsword up his ass covered in meat sauce IN A PIT FULL OF STARVING LICTORS!!! (Elemental roar of flame) Galt, what the hell are you doing!? Get up and kill those bastards! (Sound of plasma firing) Stop whimpering and get up Envoy, it was only a panda, plenty more where they came from. Thunder, demo charge! (Massive explosion) Yes! Die you traitors, die! Aeonian, get that meltagun in position! Frakking hell, do I have to do everything myself! (Explosion as Predator is engulfed by a fireball) Aha! Burn you traitor scum!! You see, it's not proper armour like you'd see on a Russ -it's flimsy, fall-down-in-a-strong-breeze, I-hope-they-don’t-spit-at-me armour! I didn't mean spit at it 3ff3ct! Enjoy it while it lasts lads - only another ten thousand of these bastards..."
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Post by Kaikelx on Jun 11, 2009 19:31:32 GMT -5
Huh...where's that from?
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Post by ElegaicRequiem on Jun 11, 2009 20:11:59 GMT -5
I had to go find a funny post to answer you, since I'M NOT GOING TO BREAK THE RULES... It's from the Straken's Guns thread. You know you can link to threads that have been quoted by clicking the "whatever day @ whenever" part, right? And now the funny post: *throws said soap box at sgtdude*
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Post by Ymmot (M.I.A) on Jun 14, 2009 19:10:21 GMT -5
I am 17, a professional Commissar by trade. I just walk the streets of my city and shoot who ever is acting like a coward, idiot or who ever gives me a funny look for wearing a massive Russian Federation Officers visor and weilding an air gun. I'm a Russian Oil Baron and part-time King of Brazil (I share this job with Jesus), I'm also Santa's half brother. I'm 67 earth-years old, I invented Cheese and Washing Machines among other things. I enjoy sporting a long Ginger beard and donning a Purple fake-fur knee length jacket and pimp cane when the want to leave my secret dungeon takes me. Oh, and I'm 20 feet tall. Pay attention, these brave heros of the Imperium helped mold me in to the Imperial Guard commander that I am today.
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Post by Rolling Thunder on Jun 15, 2009 12:13:39 GMT -5
RT will just walk across. He's so bad-ass that the water will evaporate as he takes each step, creating enough lift with steam for him to stalk his way over. No, RT just stands on the beach, glaring at the ocean for a minute, and it will move out of his way, begging him to spare it's life. Reds RT doesn't walk. He just glares at the earth and it rotates to where he needs to go.
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Post by ElegaicRequiem on Jun 17, 2009 10:25:08 GMT -5
I like to offer a compromise whenever my opponent is obviously trying to do something cheap: "I'll let you do that but I get to kick you in the nuts, deal?" That's usually enough to get them to play fair. It's kind of like the unmutable/mutable laws from the 4th ed rulebook. For every one you want to break I get to kick you in the nuts. Illegal FOC? Kick in the nuts. Few points over the limit? Kick in the nuts. Playing with traitor/xeno allies? Two kicks for heresy.
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Post by Hetfiltrator on Jun 17, 2009 18:29:15 GMT -5
Devastator Sergeant: Men, in order to give ze Rhino crew a break from hauling us around ze battlefield, we vill carry ze Rhino! Space Marine: But sir, how will we use our Heavy Weapons? Sergeant: Do not vorry, I have it all planned out. Ve vill throw ze Rhino at ze enemy!
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Post by ElegaicRequiem on Jun 18, 2009 10:24:47 GMT -5
It is not like they sit in a bed and giving each other pedicures and gossiping about that pretty space marine hero, the last hours before battle. That sounds more like the Emperor's Children, actually.... Reds
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Post by ElegaicRequiem on Jun 18, 2009 18:20:42 GMT -5
homies!? *more jealously* man...the Emperor never returns my phone calls... I'm nervous of extensive gene manipulation so the Space Marines are right out... The Schola Progenium said I couldn't join the Sisters of Battle... -sigh- so Commissar it is. *pops on peaked cap.*
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Post by Ymmot (M.I.A) on Jun 18, 2009 18:34:35 GMT -5
on the topic of Wyches. armor save (apparently a metal bikini gives you a 6+ save) That's because they apparently have a 1 in 6 chance of getting shot in the naughty bits. Reds
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Post by RedsandRoyals on Jun 20, 2009 13:07:28 GMT -5
I've never seen the C'Tan on the table. The people I know who play Necrons refuse to waste the points on a model that will take more fire than Smokey the Bear did when he didn't have pants. Reds
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Post by The Envoy (AWOL) on Jun 20, 2009 13:46:12 GMT -5
Me- "Yarrick if I order a pizza, do you want some?" Yarrick- "I might have a slice." Me- "I'm going to need more of a commitment than that!" *Flexes power claw* Me- "Whatever, man..." Yarrick- "No mushrooms." Me- *sigh* I guess living with Yarrick is something some people just aren't prepared for.
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Post by ElegaicRequiem on Jun 20, 2009 13:55:11 GMT -5
hehe. Because mushrooms are fungus and fungus is Ork and Ork is.... Yarrick hates them!! On Pizza and war tables... It's funnier that these two quotes are quoted consecutively...
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Post by Rolling Thunder on Jun 21, 2009 14:33:56 GMT -5
The Nightbringer attempts to use Etheric tempest. >RT weathers the assault. The Nightbringer attempts to use Gaze of Death. >RT's pure bad-assiness reflects the attack with more than twice the power. The Nightbringer is hit. The Nightbringer is wounded. >RT summons Drang. >>Drang give the Nightbringer a dirty look. The Nightbringer flinches. The Nightbringer is cowering in fear. >RT edits the Nightbringer's posts. The Nightbringer is wounded. >>Drang punches the Nightbringer in the face. The Nightbringer is wounded. The Nightbringer swings his scythe five times. RT is hit once. RT shrugs-off the attack. Drang dodges. >RT strikes the Nightbringer with the banhammer. The Nightbringer instantly loses all remaining wounds. The Nightbringer is unable to explode due to banhammer effects. >>Drang unsummons. >RT gains 500 xp. RT gains 1000 gold. RT finds: Massive Scythe.
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Post by ElegaicRequiem on Jun 22, 2009 1:03:09 GMT -5
*Pulls up in Gestapowagen* "Hey guys, got a call about some..." *See's six posts* "Mother of God...I NEED BACKUP NOW! Deputy, get RT on the radio! Sweet Jesus, this is just like '89 all over again! I wasn't trained for this!"
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Post by Scarper on Jun 22, 2009 11:19:59 GMT -5
On the new Straken: my only problem (as one other commenter pointed out on BoLs) is why does he have a cybernetic nipple? cyber milk, no further questions. Brilliant.
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Post by RedsandRoyals on Jun 22, 2009 22:00:13 GMT -5
BravoFour, regrading sand and sand camo schemes. well Ive spent three tours in Iraq what do you want to know about sand? Reds
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Post by Rolling Thunder on Jun 24, 2009 9:33:44 GMT -5
Well of course trenchcoats offer the same protection as flak armor. Their awesomeness deflects bullets.
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Post by The Envoy (AWOL) on Jun 25, 2009 18:52:00 GMT -5
Admit it .. you got the 'Net for this ....
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Post by Rolling Thunder on Jun 26, 2009 4:13:22 GMT -5
I take Stormtroopers because I am a rampant misogynist and firm believer in male chauvinism. ;D
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Post by ElegaicRequiem on Jun 26, 2009 13:46:38 GMT -5
Proof that Turtles are actually Squigs In order for this to be here, and not break the rules... (Thanks, RT and Curt)
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Post by ElegaicRequiem on Jun 26, 2009 16:42:48 GMT -5
Some of the products available through donation to the IGMB: DO YOU HAVE PROBLEMS SLEEPING? ARE YOU OVERWEIGHT? IS YOUR INABILITY TO GET LAID CAUSING YOU DISCOMFORT!? If so, try the Ymmot 2000. The Ymmot-2000's patented finger-puppet technology will drive all unnatural urges, such as sleeping, eating, coputulation, and in some cases, breathing from your mind instantly! The Ymmot-2000 uses genuine MindlessTerror branded software, to cauterise your entire brain in a wave of mindless, desperate terror, ensuring that you will never, ever want to sleep again! The Ymmot 2000 is a registered trademark of Games Workshop Incorporated. All Rights Denied. *Image of an Administratum scribe looking very sad while typing at his cogitator* Does your day seem like one long, monotonous drag? *Scribe nods with a cute little tear in his eye* Do you long for some CHANGE in your life? *Scribe nods again, this time with two tears in his eyes* Well, try out the TzeenchCo. Random Magic Happy Wand! *hand gives the scribe a wand with the mark of Tzeench on the tip* The Random Magic Happy Wand turns anything into anything! Don't like your workplace? Just wave the Random Magic Happy Wand and it'll all CHANGE!* *Scribe waves his wand and with a flash of light his cogitator turns into an ostrich. The scribe smiles* *Administratum overseer storms over to scribe, looking all mean and brandishing a whip menacingly* Wish your boss would get off your case? With just a wave of the Random Magic happy Wand... *The scribe waves the wand again, and with a flash of light the Overseer turns into a blue-furred monkey. The scribe is beaming* Now, the ticket to freedom is yours!** *Scribe tears his tattered robe off, revealing a skin-tight sequined jumpsuit underneath. He and several random girls (who appear out of nowhere in sequined bikinis) hold a dance party, complete with strobe lights, disco ball and laser pointers* *Not necessarily for the better **Although you are free to do whatever Tzeench will let you doTzeenchCo. Change is Good. I'm still holding out for a Rolling Thunder plushie...
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Post by RedsandRoyals on Jun 29, 2009 12:12:25 GMT -5
John_Galt's thoughts about Aeon and RT fighting. @rolling Thunder: It's your funeral The only way I can think of to commit suicide faster than taunting RT would be to type "Commissar Yarrick" into google and press "I'm Feeling Lucky." Reds
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Post by darienfaust on Jun 29, 2009 23:12:13 GMT -5
The thing every marine player wishes he/she could yell at a guard player: "We have you outnumbered!"
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Post by John_Galt (M.I.A) on Jun 30, 2009 12:19:52 GMT -5
On the Leman Russ Punisher I dunno, despite it being bad and all, it just looks too cool! I´m gonna buy one asap. You just won at Warhammer.
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