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Post by cheminhaler on Jan 4, 2010 17:15:40 GMT -5
"Gizka wokie wokie?" asked the Jawa as it approached Cheminhaler3-P-0, along with d20 other Jawas.
"No, I do not need car insurance!", answered 3-P-0 angrily.
"Mizkshiny asdbgh mkgraddy wokie wokie?", asked the Jawa gingerly, as he stopped in front of 3-P-0. He started dusting 3-P-0 off, and inspecting his parts.
"Do you mind!" exclaimed 3-P-0. "Stop touching my memory stick! Well I never!"
"Mzgassy shimy goldie jhagsdcfyo mogaratbag winkie pinkie ksdjekcy mecky recktibecnkutyyhy hardyhtjenyo wonki barr!", stated the Jawa, as the other Jawas started poking him as well.
"You're just little bullies!", answered 3-P-0. "And no! For the record I do not have 0.20 Imperial Credits so you can get the Sandcrawler back to Moss Eisley. Go and ask another random passer-by. I must go. Stop crowing around me! Get your finger out of there you droid abuser!"
"Mkchoonko!" shouted one of the Jawas from behind 3-P-0.
All he heard was a loud whooshing sound and then his power turned off, and the world around him faded into oblivion.
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Post by Makarova (M.I.A) on Jan 4, 2010 18:00:52 GMT -5
*Presses fist to chest.* My Lord... uh, or Lady! Whichever you prefer! *Leaves to lube superlaser.* *hints at very revealing latex catsuit* Sigh. Go lube the lasers and I'll return to what I was doing. (By the way, Luke should get together with Cheminhaler3PO, otherwise you're both going to be rather lonely)
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Post by Kaikelx on Jan 4, 2010 18:01:12 GMT -5
Lazing away on the couch, I was bored. Again. Might as well see what the parents and co were up too.
A few seconds later, I almost flew straight through the throne room, coming inches away from breaking the glass view panel.
"WHOOOAAAA-"
"Oh. Hi there!"
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Post by Srgt. Master on Jan 4, 2010 18:11:18 GMT -5
Aboard his customized Y-wing "Long-probe" ship, sanctioned by the Emperor and suitably marked in Imperial Markings, Srgt Master laughed at the pitiful "cruisers" that the rebels had brought into the battle, their barely-military grade disruptors impacting on his shields with only minor effect.
Locking onto the nearest cruiser, he muttered a quick insult to the ship before launching a simple volley of torpedos...about 14 to be exact.
At first, the torps impacted on the shields shielding, lasting a few seconds before collapsing and allowing the photon and concussion torpedoes to impact directly on the ships bridge, blowing the unfortunate ''commanders'' into the void. Meanwhile, a second volley flew over the bridge and onto the power core's approximate location, blowing through the Armour and detonating the main reactor.
The ship's crew never really knew what hit them until the reactor exploded, bright enough to be seen through the emperor's viewing window. As he flew through the explosion, Srgt Master laughed aloud as a trio of outdated Z-95 headhunters locked onto him and peppered his shields with impacts. with a quick order, his R5 unit fired at the aggressors with the Gatling disruptors, destroying one ship in a flurry of fire.
Dodgeing a particullarly large piece of wreackage, Srgt Master called out over comms "Command, this is Steamroller, make sure to add that to my pay, will ya'?" before aligning his ship towards a particullarly annoying Nebulon-B frigate.
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Post by Kaikelx on Jan 4, 2010 18:13:33 GMT -5
Glancing out the window, I saw something strange....
"Hey, Dad? How'd those rebels get their hands on one of OUR frigates?"
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Post by Rolling Thunder on Jan 4, 2010 18:13:45 GMT -5
"Thunder to Master - why are you using an outdated piece of crap?" said Thunder, now attempting to mount his Carnosaur, and failing as Lady Vader had managed, somehow, to place a car-sized gag ball into it's jaws, and the poor thing was now not sure whether to kill him or lie down submissively and be mounted.
"Gah! You stupid beast, I....no, I am not looking to have - dammit!" snapped Thunder, pulling the ball from it's massive, slaestering jaws of the sexually-confused dinosaur. "Sssh. It's alright. I'm here....not in that way!" snarled Thunder, batting away the huge, moon-eyed thread. "Damn, I shouldn't have gotten a female....."he sighed, finally managing to climb atop the saddle on it's back.
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Post by Laughing Man on Jan 4, 2010 18:25:29 GMT -5
Luke finally decided to get on with his work, he planted the bomb in the power generator and began to run clear.
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Post by Makarova (M.I.A) on Jan 4, 2010 18:26:15 GMT -5
Lady Vader peaks out of a small window above the carnosaur pen.
"Hey! Leave my sweetass alone!"
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Post by Kaikelx on Jan 4, 2010 18:26:44 GMT -5
Whistling, I wondered whether to join in. Watching was fun, but doing was even better.
And that applied to other things as well.
"Hey mom?" Seeing as dad had now gone off some where. "Can I go help out? Even though they probably don't need it?"
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Post by Makarova (M.I.A) on Jan 4, 2010 18:32:35 GMT -5
"What? Help out? By fighting rebels?" Lady Vader scratches her head. "Why the hell would you want that? I mean, I'm not going to stop you, but you're damn weird, kid."
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Post by Kaikelx on Jan 4, 2010 18:37:27 GMT -5
"Yay!"
With a mental push, I sent a frigate flying, hurling straight into a nearby sun.
"Okay, I'm done now!"
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Post by Makarova (M.I.A) on Jan 4, 2010 18:48:12 GMT -5
"Hey, that's practical."
*sends a few frigates into the sun as well, giggling*
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Post by Kaikelx on Jan 4, 2010 18:50:15 GMT -5
"You know, I wonder what'll happen to the sun...."
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Post by cheminhaler on Jan 4, 2010 18:51:26 GMT -5
With a loud ZOOZH! Cheminhaler3-P-0 woke up again. He was with hundreds of other droids, cramped and herded in the cargo hold of a Sandcrawler 1973 model M40003.627165.5 Mechanicus Standard (sponsored by GW, do you want a free Space Marine? Get in touch now). Next to him was a Class7 BumCleaner, a PsychoJake Clean-o-bot, a Mc10 BurgerGrillMasterShakerMaker, a silver PleasureBot, a Plastek Cheap-O-Bot, a Tamiwhatchi Class 89 RoboDog and a Leprech-Droid (Made in Ireland). Most were deactivated, but the Tamiwhatchi RoboDog was barking at the BumCleaner, which was trying to poke a feather duster at it. There were d6 Jawas guarding the droids. More Jawas were in the driver cabin. At least his rudeness chip and memory stick were still intact. His gold-plated bodywork was badly scorched and he needed a can of WD-40.
Where were the Jawas going? He could hear them muttering at the front of the vehicle. It looked like they were stuck in a traffic jam outside Moss Eisley SpacePort (there's a GW store here as well, you know!). It sounded like the Jawas were arguing about whether to quickly perform mating rituals in the driving cabin of the Sandcrawler, whilst waiting in the traffic jam to access the spaceport.
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Post by Laughing Man on Jan 4, 2010 19:04:21 GMT -5
Luke took his speeder to the overlook. He watched as the bomb he planted in the orphanage exploded, luckily no-one would care as it was an orphanage for ewoks.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jan 4, 2010 19:19:45 GMT -5
The Tamiwhatchi RoboDog was still barking loudly at the Class7BC, so Cheminhaler3-P-0 quickly shambled over to the Class7BC and spun it around, turning it towards the d3 Jawa guards left in the cargo bay. The other d3 had gone to join the mating orgy of unclothed Jawa maniacs driving the vehicle.
"Oooonchoooondooooo", came the cry of joy from the driver cabin.
"Filthy creatures!", remarked 3-P-0, as the Class7BC trundled towards the d3 Jawas, who were looking towards the driver cabin and whispering in each other's ears.
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Post by Srgt. Master on Jan 4, 2010 19:28:23 GMT -5
Inwardly groaning at Emperor Thunder, Master quickly did a barrel roll to avoid a missile, calmly answering "Simply because this outdated ship can take on enough modules to be deadly without sacrificing turn rate and amour strength!" shooting down the second Z-95, he added "Also, your Navy doesn't have anything with a sexy turret and an astromech!" Re-aligning toward the frigate, He bathed the shields in Ion blasts, disabling the ship and marking it for boarding. Using the hull as cover he quickly shut off his engines and turned back wards, destroying the final headhunter in a rapid blast from the under-mounted blaster cannons.
"Besides Emperor, none of your 'state-of-the-art' ships can handle the modifications I've added, not without re-designing the chassis, not even your high-mass TIE bomber-class design!"
Rising out of the ship's cover, he re-united with his 'escort', four veteran TIE bomber pilots and a wing of TIE fighters, he begun approaching a Missle Cruiser, currently in the proccess of bombarding the Navy's 'left' flank.
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Post by Rolling Thunder on Jan 4, 2010 19:35:11 GMT -5
Thunder, idly realising that riding a twenty-foot dinosaur through the Death Star might have been unwise, was amused enough to notice that Sacka had regained her appetite enough to consume at least three rebels, a stormtrooper, six enslaved wookie females and half a travelling salesman.
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Post by ElegaicRequiem on Jan 4, 2010 19:42:15 GMT -5
The lasers are lubed, and ready to fire, my Lady!
*With that, I prepped for flight in my modified TIE Defender.*
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Post by Hetfiltrator on Jan 4, 2010 20:49:32 GMT -5
Hetlan-wan Kenobi raced his broken tricycle after Luke. "I'm going ta teach that brat a lesson" he thought aloud "What? Oh nuts! I've lost the power of internal monologue! I'll get that brat." The tricycle hovered next to Luke's junky speeder. "Take this you rascal!" He swung his lighthammer down crushing the engine. "I'm going to make you pay for all the destruction you caused! And I'm including the Aldaraan globe you destroyed when you were practicising shooting!"
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Post by cheminhaler on Jan 4, 2010 21:18:34 GMT -5
Two more of the Jawa guards went to join their comrades in the driving cabin of the large Sandcrawler. The last guard still had his back turned. He was armed with a gold-plated autogun -designation AK47 old Terran pattern :: THREAT ASSESSMENT - 47.59%., and a bag of grenades.
The Class7BumCleaner droid trundled up to the Jawa guard, squeaking and bleeping as it extended it's toilet paper probe and feather duster back-up probe towards the unsuspecting, diminutive, hooded alien. The Jawa squaked in pain as the toilet paper probe smashed into his hooded face, turning around abrubtly, squeezing his trigger finger, violently and accidentally shooting the Jawas in the driver's cabin in a blaze of destruction.
"Wookwoo!", came the cries of the dying Jawas, as the explosive-tipped autogun ammunition detonated within the driver's cabin, slaying them all, except the one who had shot the rest. The last Jawa shot the Class7BC droid in anger. It exploded next to him, sending a piece of shrapnel into the unsuspecting Jawa's face. The dying Jawa crumpled to the floor, as Cheminhaler3-P-0 walked up to him and picked the gold-plated autogun from his hands, and removed the satchel of grenades from his back.
"Thankfully the grenades didn't go off, as well", exclaimed 3-P-0, as he exited the back of the Sandcrawler, holding an autogun and a bag of grenades. The Tamiwhatchi RoboDog barked as it followed out of the rapidly burning Sandcrawler.
The road was still blocked with traffic, so 3-P-0 and the RoboDog made their way into the spaceport on foot, via the dangerous backstreets of the shady Space Raver district.
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Post by Hetfiltrator on Jan 4, 2010 21:45:14 GMT -5
Hetlan-wan Kenobi rode by the two droids he turned on his seat pushing Luke out of the tricycle and burying him neck deep in sand and turned to the droids and said "You droids need a lift?"
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Post by Kaikelx on Jan 4, 2010 21:56:03 GMT -5
I whistled as I headed off to my Tie Fighter.
It was actually a decent craft, fast, could turn on a dime, and the twin laser cannons were great additions. The addition of a weak shield generator, a sufficient hyper drive, and a small generator improvement, along with making sure I could breath without a flight suit made it adequete. The speed was slightly lower, maneuverability reduced to human levels, and still quite cheap. Plus the generator ensured that I could survive turning collisions, and the occasional lucky barrage of laser bolts.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jan 4, 2010 22:01:13 GMT -5
Hetlan-wan Kenobi rode by the two droids he turned on his seat pushing Luke out of the tricycle and burying him neck deep in sand and turned to the droids and said "You droids need a lift?" "Oh, yes please, sir! I have an urgent message for Master L<squeak>, but my mem chips need cleaning and I need a recharge, sir!", said Cheminhaler3-P-0, as the RoboDog bleeped and barked at Hetlan wan-Kenobi. 3-P-0 kicked the RoboDog. "Don't bark at the man, RoboDog! Is there room on the trike, sir?"
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Post by Cadian 117 on Jan 4, 2010 22:15:11 GMT -5
"Uh sir, should I feed some of the other Carnosaurs? We have quite a few random rebels in the jail block."
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