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Post by Trickstick on Jun 11, 2017 15:20:28 GMT -5
Actually, I drank all of the Insani-tea last week.
We actually have plenty of gasses to provide buoyancy. I stopped by something called a "Gas Station" last week and stocked up. If we just fill the airship with the gas I got, then everything should work fine.
Ensign, set a course for the Spanish Maine! We shall sweep down upon the lobster convoys and collect a King's Ransom in precious blue lobster!
Flibble.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 12, 2017 3:50:31 GMT -5
Roger! Received; setting course for El'Alamein. Over! Victor?
*fights the control panel*
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 12, 2017 5:21:21 GMT -5
Victor tango, soft drink corporate pleasure craft ahead!
Ensign Chem, who gave you permission to fight Ensign Control Panel? Cease at once or it is 20 lashwhips for you. Although gifting people whips has not been getting the desired disciplinary effects lately. I think I am missing something about whip application.
Now, convince Ensign Control Panel to dive to combat altitude and ready the Combat Canons! We shall take compromising photos of that Tango executive's affair and blackmail her for huge quantities of Tango!
R!
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Post by Peter Cooman on Jun 12, 2017 6:11:55 GMT -5
*pops up out of nowhere*
Hey guys what's up!
*throws power salmons at every one*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 12, 2017 6:44:56 GMT -5
*crackle*
"Rear Gunner Red Cuffs to Captain Control Panel (or Chem ... whoever is winning that little slapping squabble) ...
BANDITS BANDITS 6 O'CLOCK HIGH ... BREAK LEFT !!! *dakka-dakka-dakka-dak ...* ATTACK SALMON EVERYWHERE ... WE'RE TAKING HITS *thwack ... thwack-thwack* THEY CAME OUT OF THE SUN ... THEY'RE ALL OVER US ''!!! *dakka-dakka-dakka-dak ...*
*crackle*
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 12, 2017 6:56:48 GMT -5
*dons the scouse disguise*
Control panel! Calm down, calm down! Ready the bacon cannon and the pot noodle cannon. None of that chicken sachet in the pot noodle! Thank you!
I think it's working.
Arrrgh!
*Is hit in the knee with a power salmon*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 12, 2017 7:04:05 GMT -5
*hears Captain Chem's cry of Arrrgh* *leans back from Rear Gunner's compartment and draws Grandad's Webley MkVI*
''Hold still Captain ... I think I can get him from here'' !!!
*Squints whilst aiming ... Thinks ... should've gone to Specsavers*
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 12, 2017 8:33:38 GMT -5
*Captain Control Panel's mind reading algorithms activate. Suddenly, the ship lurches to one side, the course having been corrected to the nearest Specsavers.*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 12, 2017 8:42:35 GMT -5
KERPOW !!!
*Grandad's old Webley MkVI spouts a gout of flame and smoke as it discharges accidentally*
*A single .455 lead slug arcs lazily yet menacingly towards ...
*Red Cuffs passes out* (Which leaves the scene frozen and .455 bullet mid flight until someone else completes the last sentence).
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 12, 2017 15:20:50 GMT -5
*...slug... lazily towards... the Tango corporation craft's exposed fuel lines, causing it to violently explode and shower everyone with fizzy orange juice*
*BOOOOM!*
*Drinks a large liquid plume of Tango*
Aaaaargh!
*gets slapped by millions of naked orange genies, moving at high speed*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 12, 2017 15:51:47 GMT -5
*Red Cuffs regains consciousness*
"Yeah ... I meant to do that".
*surveys the crew of SS Argo-Lictor and their trembling jowls*
"Could've been worse though lads ... Could've been Fanta".
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 12, 2017 18:26:13 GMT -5
Could have been alcohol free Henniger..
*presses the alcohol free beer button... or was it just the 'free beer' button. It's hard to read the labels with fizzy poop soda in my eye*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 12, 2017 20:25:07 GMT -5
Ah, I think you're reading it wrong. I think it's meant to say ''beer, free alcohol''. Part of the ''reality management system'' on the SS Argo-Lictor. And considering the most recent and ruthless attack from Power Salmon, Never was it more needed by the crew. Except Ensign Control Panel ... she's driving.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 13, 2017 7:24:54 GMT -5
She was driving but I just hit the automatic pilot button. What was that alarming clanking and ticking sound. It sounds like there is a B-AAAAAAmb in the engine room.
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 13, 2017 17:46:57 GMT -5
She was driving but I just hit the automatic pilot button. What was that alarming clanking and ticking sound. It sounds like there is a B-AAAAAAmb in the engine room. No, there is a L-AAAAAAmb in the engine room. Chief petty officer L-AAAAAAmb to be precise. Probably high on mushrooms again and hitting things with a hammer. How do you even hold a hammer with hooves anyway?
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 14, 2017 3:38:01 GMT -5
In the grim darkness of the far future there are only hooves...
HOOFHAMMER 40,000
In related news: Mary had a little lamb. It was delicious.
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 14, 2017 4:55:24 GMT -5
I was once walking past some lambs and started shouting "mint sauce".
I got arrested for worrying sheep...
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 14, 2017 5:49:36 GMT -5
Wasn't LAAAAAMb the chief amputation officer? I can understand what with the recent water vole attrition rates, many of us crew members are trying to do more than one job at once.
I'm supposed to be a : Captain, Lieutenant, Flag Officer, Vox officer, tadpole breeder and bacon registrar.
Hey you there! Don't forget to register YOUR bacon in the registrar's office. Bring bread and brown sauce with you.
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 14, 2017 6:24:04 GMT -5
Please note, due to a staffing error we are renaming the Registrar's officer to the Registrars' office. I accidentally assigned every registrar in the fleet to this ship, so there are about 342 of them in there...
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 14, 2017 7:00:58 GMT -5
After the shaving accident there are only 1.73555555555 registrats left, myself included (I'm the 0.735555555555) Unfortunaltely Private third class Flibble has just been taken to the infirmary, due to infection caused by savage water vole biting. The rats have air skateboards, sir.
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 14, 2017 7:00:59 GMT -5
342 ? The SS Argo-Licktor is getting bigger every day ! I'll conduct an inventory of the fried eggs.
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 14, 2017 8:00:47 GMT -5
*Starts wolfing down the fried eggs in an attempt to obfuscate their true numbers and stymie the attempted inventory*
<.< >.>
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 14, 2017 8:49:07 GMT -5
*dons the waiter uniform*
Would sir like typhoidal or non-typhoidal salmonella sauce with their egg soufflé?
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 14, 2017 17:39:32 GMT -5
Salmonella is soooo... pedestrian. I demand the Botulism sauce!
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 15, 2017 3:42:56 GMT -5
Certainly, sir. This is the lobster botulism surprise.
*brings a silver platter and rubs Trooper's face in contaminated soil, then puts a living lobster on each shoulder*
Bon appetite
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