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Post by Trickstick on Jun 2, 2017 16:00:14 GMT -5
Can Licky produce eggs to go with the bacon ? Certainly! They may need somewhere it incubate for a while. To enhance the flavour, you understand? I guess your lungs are a nice warm place. *Stuffs a few Lick-TOR eggs down Redcuffs's throat.* They should be ready by breakfast!
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 2, 2017 16:15:07 GMT -5
*A magical Lick-TOR-gon appears*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 2, 2017 16:36:45 GMT -5
*instantly seals epiglottis due to finely tuned "mammalian reflex". Lictor back-bacon and eggs redirected down Oesophageous to finally rest within the acidic tomb of Red Cuffs' stomach (amidst a sea of gin). Cardiac sphincter closes tight to prevent any escape as does pyloric sphincter*
Phwoar ... I could eat that again
*Intestinal Peristalsis kicks in, Red Cuffs runs to toilet only to find that despite being present in this thread for years ... nobody has thought of replacing the toilet roll*.
There is however a 7th ed rule book ...
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 2, 2017 16:42:49 GMT -5
*A magical Lick-TOR-gon appears* A WHAT Where'd that come from ? And why now ? With me sat on the toilet, Half way through evacuating my bowels, With no sanitary products to serve my delicate anus other than an old, greasy, heavily thumbed 7th ed rule book. Red Cuffs starts to feel vulnerable ...
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 3, 2017 4:22:00 GMT -5
No don't go in there!
The living bacteria gang managed to get a hold of all our laspistols and demolition charges. They now act as highway/ toilet robbers and they burned all the toilet paper, baby wipes and Domestos to prevent any cleanliness.
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 3, 2017 14:25:18 GMT -5
*Presses the button marked "FLOOD TOILET ENCLOSURE WITH COVFEFE"*
Wait a minute... That button is next to the "ARENA SELF-DESTRUCT" button, and given the penchant for button label switching shenanigans that members have. Aw, nuts.
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 3, 2017 16:05:23 GMT -5
Not only is there a penchant for button label switching, but when I designed the Arena I had all of the buttons wired into a random box I found. I really have no idea what any of them do and only put labels on them because I could claim a sweet label maker as a business expense.
*Loud clonk*
Oh dam, ewe hit the homonym randomiser! Aye don't no if eye can stand it!
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 3, 2017 18:22:09 GMT -5
Hugh can stand wart? Wart, wart, wart!
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 7, 2017 16:55:41 GMT -5
*Turns the Homonym Randomiser off. 'Tis a silly thing.*
I challenge thee to Taxiswordy!
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 8, 2017 4:47:16 GMT -5
TAXI!
*hails cab*
You call this a taxi? This thing is YELLOW! Does this look like New York? *Le sigh!*
*hands the taxi driver a pot of black paint and a size 0000 brush*
Today, please. Today!
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 8, 2017 6:36:36 GMT -5
*Red Cuffs frantically searches eBay for duelling sabre constructed from a blend of adamantium and cat whiskers*
*Interupts Cheminhaler's finger tapping and clock watching*
"Do you mind if we share this cab"? "Taxiswordy doubles game perhaps"?
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 8, 2017 7:51:10 GMT -5
Doubles might mean being up against the Williams sisters. I might pop into the Arena bookies, just to bet against us winning. If I give them a sweet wrapper they'll give me 30 sweet wrappers in return, if we lose. Bargain!
*paints some Agrellan Earth special effect paint on the taxi to give it some zig-zaggy raised earth pattern*
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 8, 2017 10:36:50 GMT -5
Bah, your camouflage is inferior!
*Breaks out the Arena's Devlan Mud supply.*
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 8, 2017 12:08:19 GMT -5
Aha! But did you press the 'Devlan Mud' button? Because I find that when I press the Devlan Mud button regularly, all I get is Blood Red and Worm Bite. Maybe I need to see the Arena's Mad Dok.
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 8, 2017 15:39:11 GMT -5
Word on the street is that Tricky dilutes down the "premium" Devlan Mud with the less prestigious "Agrax Earthshade". You can actually taste the difference. Bit you'll still get charged a 4 finger Kit-Kat for the pleasure.
Who's the Mad Dok by the way ?
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 8, 2017 16:49:03 GMT -5
Who's the Mad Dok by the way ? This week Mad Dok Grotsnik is being played by .... *drum roll* *spins the Random Actor generator* .. Owen Wilson. Actually I've changed my mind. Not going to the doctor.. *runs for the camouflaged taxi*
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 8, 2017 17:38:11 GMT -5
Double your pleasure, double your fun with Departmento Munitorum-sanctioned DetEx Gum.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 9, 2017 6:40:00 GMT -5
*Buys a packet of gum from the used gum salesperson. This week played by ....* Nicholas Cage*Throws the gum into the Lick-TOR's mouth*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 9, 2017 7:22:59 GMT -5
*Licky blows a bubble - inflated with gastric gasses that are lighter than air - attains a reduction in cumulative mass - becomes suspended in the atmosphere - nervously anticipates a light breeze*
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Post by Trickstick on Jun 9, 2017 18:19:46 GMT -5
Rise my Lick-TOR! You shall be the newest addition to the ResCorp Airship Armada!
That's right, ResCorp is back. I shall plunder all of your trade lanes until you agree to almost crippling tariffs! Very much just shy of crippling, I say!
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 10, 2017 4:28:56 GMT -5
Lord Super High So High He Fell Off His Chair ResCorp Admiral! May your Aether Gold Shine forever!
Sir, we have finished removing the engines from all the airships but then we kind of lost the instructions and the engines fell into quicksand, so we tried to rescue them but .. unfortunately they sort of sank.
So, we have sea ships being towed by oversized squid at the moment, sir, and no airships, sir...
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 10, 2017 15:29:29 GMT -5
In addition 99.7688% of the crew have been mauled, presumed dead, by the floating air sharks and air-skateboard water voles, so most of the ships are crewless, the air goblins have plundered most of our supplies, the cannons have been stripped by air pirates, the lead has been taken from the ships, some of which are sinking, the lasguns are underpowered and we've run out of.... out of tea, sir...
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Post by RedCuffs on Jun 10, 2017 16:37:47 GMT -5
Damn ... no tea. Maintain buoyancy sir. Licky is looking down on you from her highly over inflated position and she is judging you.
Instruct all remaining crew to eat beans ... and that means you too Captain Chem. Eat beans and propel yourselves to shallow waters through the medium of flactulant gasses. Ignite the flactulant gasses in extremis ...
God speed.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jun 10, 2017 17:31:27 GMT -5
The gasses belong to the Respiration Corporation; a subsidiary of the Resurrection Corporation ; both what you breathe in and what comes out is all charged Value Added ResCorp Tax per cubic sixteenth of a gallon.
The beans were transferred by telegram to the Halo Stars, by entrepreneuring space ferrets in suits. We would be trying to trace the criminal vermin but the security team is down to just us and Trickstick-in-disguise-as-a-bouncer.
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jun 11, 2017 10:10:22 GMT -5
RUMOR CONTROL:
The Arena has NOT run out of tea!
It is perfectly well stocked... With Insani-tea.
*Presses the detonator button for the 100kg spool of DetEx Gum that Licky is nomming on*
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