Battle of the Armchair of Questionable Fluids
Aug 3, 2014 19:01:32 GMT -5
Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four likes this
Post by cheminhaler on Aug 3, 2014 19:01:32 GMT -5
Introduction
The bright sunlight burned intensely through the blue leaves, in a clearing in the forest, casting shadows from the forms of the Space Marines assembled there. Chaplain Shibahn and Captain Zappeion had led the demi-company on a year-long quest to locate the artifact known as The Armchair of Questionable Fluids, culminating in the landing on planet Argavoria, deep in Ultima Segmentum.
The planet had been invaded by Orks recently so the going had been tough. The marines hadn't eaten for months and eventually Chaplain Shibahn was forced to consume Orkish brain-matter to show the path to the relic and an end to the quest that they had been sworn to fulfill.
As they passed the clearing Captain Zappeion's auspex started bleeping.
"The Orks are coming", he announced. "I want a defensive perimeter around those buildings to the South."
The quest was about to come to a brutal end.
Game
WARNING - This game was played using 6th edition rules
Emptyhat - Bad Moonz - Orks
H.Q1 Warboss, PK, dead shiny shoota, eavy armour 94
H.Q2 Painboy
Elites 1 8 Nobz, 1 PK, 1 bigchopa, 1 bosspole Battlewagon, 1 rokkit, grot rigger 290
Troops 1 10 Boyz eavy armour, rokkit, nob with PK, BP Trukk, Rokkit 175
Troops 2 10 Boyz eavy armour, rokkit, nob with PK, BP Trukk, Rokkit 175
Fast Attack 1 DakkaJet 130
Fast Attack 2 Deffkopta, rokkits 30
Fast Attack 3 2 Deffkoptas with rokkits 60
Heavy Support 1 Morkanaut Grot riggers, kustom forcefield 300
Heavy support 2 5 Flash Gitz 110
Heavy Support 3 4 Mek Gunz 1 Traktor Kannon, 3 lobbas 84
----
1500
Cheminhaler - Soul Drinkers - Space Marines (IF chapter tactics)
HQ
Captain – boltpistol, powerfist, auspex -120
HQ
Chaplain – crozius Arcanum, powerfist, rosarius, meltabombs -120
Troops
5 tactical marines – veteran sgt, meltagun - 90
Troops
5 tactical marines - 70
Troops
10 tactical marines – veteran sgt, combi-grav, grav gun, plasma cannon -190
FA
Land Speeder Typhoon - 75
FA
Land Speeder Typhoon - 75
FA
Storm Talon – twin-linked lascannon, assault cannons -140
HS
10 Devastators – veteran sgt, heavy bolters x4 -190
HS
10 Devastators – veteran sgt, heavy bolters x4 -190
HS
10 Devastators – veteran sgt, lascannons x2, missile launcher – flakk x2 -240
----
1500
Mission - The Relic
Battlefield - Hammer & Anvil
Emptyhat warlord trait - Kunnin But Brutal
Cheminhaler warlord trait - Champion of Humanity (4th time/4 times)
Emptyhat won the roll, set up first, but cheminhaler seized the initiative.
Turn 1
The marines had set up in a line covering their half of the board. All their squads were broken down into 5 man combat squads and the chaplain and captain were leading squads. The chaplains squad moved out of the bunker, a heavy bolter squad moved towards the relic. The marines open fire killing 2 grot artillery crew and a deffkopta, then blow up a trukk, killing 6 orks. The gretchin run towards the building quite far behind them , hastily dismantling parts of their artillery guns in an effort to get it under the roof of the building's underpassage.
The gretchin fail to rally and run yet further. The deffkoptaz open fire with their rokkits, killikg a marine from a heavy bolter squad. The Morkanaught opens fire, killing another 3 devastators.
Turn 2
The marines advance. The storm talon arrives ; both the talon and the typhoons fail to damage the battlewagon or the morkanaught. The devastators hit the morkanaught and take 2 hull points off. More orks from the blown up trukk squad get shot with punishing heavy bolter fire and both the remaining deffkoptaz go down in a storm of missile/ heavy bolter/ bolter fire.
The orks advance to the middle of the board and disembark. The dakkajet arrivesand engages the storm talon in a dogfight (as per the crusade of fire extra rules; last time we'll be using the dogfight rules but we might keep the extra abilites the fighters get based on Codex); nothing really happened at all so we assumed they were locked in a deadly dogfight whilst zooming but not zomming around in circles (which is impossible in the rules anyway). The nobz and flash gitz only kill a marine in the shooting round but both charge & destroy 2 5 man tactical squads in the central building, next to the relic. The flas gitz rolled a high charge and jumped up a level, charging the marines in the upper level while the nobz charged the squad underneath. All ten marines die to the blades of the orks.
Turn 3
The (continuing saga) dogfight turns sour for the orks as the defending marine talon shoots back unexpectedly at the dakkajet, taking off a hull point but failing to do anything with the lascannon (as usual). The rest of the space marine fire fails mostly but the lascannon devastators take another hull point off the closing morkanaught. One ork nob dies in a blizzard of 6 grav gun shots from both the grav gun and combi grav 1 shot weapon
The orks blow up the typhoon that was close to the morkanaught attempting to blast it from the side. The plasticrete bunker it was on was replaced by a crater. The nobz and the warboss advance towards the building with the round hole in it and the flash gitz charge the chaplain and his now 4 man squad, who were calmly watching their brethren being butchered and reciting verses from the Catechisms Martial. The overwatch kills a flash git on the charge and another dies in the combat but all the marines die. The chaplain elected to use the fist instead of the crozius in a moment of immense stupidity. The gitz consolidate. The morkanaught repairs a hull point. The artillery gretchin finally rally.
Early pictures
empty's pictures
---
chem's pictures
Turn 4
The marines continue to fire at the orks but fail to do much damage except for killing the warboss, with sly shots from the grav gunner to the side crushing him in his eavy armour. The talon fails to hit the morkanaught.
An ork nob seizes the relic and starts moving it back towards the waiting furniture pick-up walker/ morkanaught, whose front doors begin to open for the cargo. The other nobz charge the captain and the 5 man squad with the meltagun. The captain and his marines die under the blades of the nobz. The artillery gretchin fail to hit the stormtalon with their AA gun.
Turn 5
The storm talon desperately switches to hover mode in an attempt to target the morkanaught again, without moving too far away. The final typhoon gets right behind the morkanaught and blasts it, failing to do anything. The devastators fail to penetrate the morkanaught's armour.
The ork nob loads the cargo onto the waiting morkanaught and it closes its doors and turns around, showing its back to the marines. The storm talon loses its final hull point and dies to a stray rokkit from a vehicle as the gretchin had failed to use their traktor kannon on it once more.
Turn 6
The marine lascannon devastators and the last typhoon fail to damage the morkanaught, now escaping with the relic.
The morkanaught moves forwards, charges the final typhoon which was behind it but is now in front of it, smashing it to pieces with its Claw of Mork or Possibly Gork and instantly slaying the crew.
At this point the game concludes as there was no chance that the marines cold claim the relic in one turn. As a sidenote both night fighting tests were failed, as this was a full 24/7 sunlight planet.
Late game pictures
empty's pictures
---
chem's pictures
Emptyhat - 4 vp (relic, slay the warlord)
Cheminhaler - 2 vp (first blood, slay the warlord)
Conclusion
The nob sat comfortably in the Armchair, within the belly of the Morkanaught, lighting a squigar and contemplating his own position within the Bad Moon Clan. As the marines ineffectual fire pinged off the back of the walker, the nob smiled, imagining the day he would challenge Lemon Steela. The old warboss had been seriously injured, crushed by his armour but the nob knew he would be back to claim his position of authority... only the nob knew on some instinctive level that if he attached enough dakka to the armchair it would force the great warboss to renegotiate. The nob was vastly happy, having appeased Mork greatly, or was it Gork?
The bright sunlight burned intensely through the blue leaves, in a clearing in the forest, casting shadows from the forms of the Space Marines assembled there. Chaplain Shibahn and Captain Zappeion had led the demi-company on a year-long quest to locate the artifact known as The Armchair of Questionable Fluids, culminating in the landing on planet Argavoria, deep in Ultima Segmentum.
The planet had been invaded by Orks recently so the going had been tough. The marines hadn't eaten for months and eventually Chaplain Shibahn was forced to consume Orkish brain-matter to show the path to the relic and an end to the quest that they had been sworn to fulfill.
As they passed the clearing Captain Zappeion's auspex started bleeping.
"The Orks are coming", he announced. "I want a defensive perimeter around those buildings to the South."
The quest was about to come to a brutal end.
Game
WARNING - This game was played using 6th edition rules
Emptyhat - Bad Moonz - Orks
H.Q1 Warboss, PK, dead shiny shoota, eavy armour 94
H.Q2 Painboy
Elites 1 8 Nobz, 1 PK, 1 bigchopa, 1 bosspole Battlewagon, 1 rokkit, grot rigger 290
Troops 1 10 Boyz eavy armour, rokkit, nob with PK, BP Trukk, Rokkit 175
Troops 2 10 Boyz eavy armour, rokkit, nob with PK, BP Trukk, Rokkit 175
Fast Attack 1 DakkaJet 130
Fast Attack 2 Deffkopta, rokkits 30
Fast Attack 3 2 Deffkoptas with rokkits 60
Heavy Support 1 Morkanaut Grot riggers, kustom forcefield 300
Heavy support 2 5 Flash Gitz 110
Heavy Support 3 4 Mek Gunz 1 Traktor Kannon, 3 lobbas 84
----
1500
Cheminhaler - Soul Drinkers - Space Marines (IF chapter tactics)
HQ
Captain – boltpistol, powerfist, auspex -120
HQ
Chaplain – crozius Arcanum, powerfist, rosarius, meltabombs -120
Troops
5 tactical marines – veteran sgt, meltagun - 90
Troops
5 tactical marines - 70
Troops
10 tactical marines – veteran sgt, combi-grav, grav gun, plasma cannon -190
FA
Land Speeder Typhoon - 75
FA
Land Speeder Typhoon - 75
FA
Storm Talon – twin-linked lascannon, assault cannons -140
HS
10 Devastators – veteran sgt, heavy bolters x4 -190
HS
10 Devastators – veteran sgt, heavy bolters x4 -190
HS
10 Devastators – veteran sgt, lascannons x2, missile launcher – flakk x2 -240
----
1500
Mission - The Relic
Battlefield - Hammer & Anvil
Emptyhat warlord trait - Kunnin But Brutal
Cheminhaler warlord trait - Champion of Humanity (4th time/4 times)
Emptyhat won the roll, set up first, but cheminhaler seized the initiative.
Turn 1
The marines had set up in a line covering their half of the board. All their squads were broken down into 5 man combat squads and the chaplain and captain were leading squads. The chaplains squad moved out of the bunker, a heavy bolter squad moved towards the relic. The marines open fire killing 2 grot artillery crew and a deffkopta, then blow up a trukk, killing 6 orks. The gretchin run towards the building quite far behind them , hastily dismantling parts of their artillery guns in an effort to get it under the roof of the building's underpassage.
The gretchin fail to rally and run yet further. The deffkoptaz open fire with their rokkits, killikg a marine from a heavy bolter squad. The Morkanaught opens fire, killing another 3 devastators.
Turn 2
The marines advance. The storm talon arrives ; both the talon and the typhoons fail to damage the battlewagon or the morkanaught. The devastators hit the morkanaught and take 2 hull points off. More orks from the blown up trukk squad get shot with punishing heavy bolter fire and both the remaining deffkoptaz go down in a storm of missile/ heavy bolter/ bolter fire.
The orks advance to the middle of the board and disembark. The dakkajet arrivesand engages the storm talon in a dogfight (as per the crusade of fire extra rules; last time we'll be using the dogfight rules but we might keep the extra abilites the fighters get based on Codex); nothing really happened at all so we assumed they were locked in a deadly dogfight whilst zooming but not zomming around in circles (which is impossible in the rules anyway). The nobz and flash gitz only kill a marine in the shooting round but both charge & destroy 2 5 man tactical squads in the central building, next to the relic. The flas gitz rolled a high charge and jumped up a level, charging the marines in the upper level while the nobz charged the squad underneath. All ten marines die to the blades of the orks.
Turn 3
The (continuing saga) dogfight turns sour for the orks as the defending marine talon shoots back unexpectedly at the dakkajet, taking off a hull point but failing to do anything with the lascannon (as usual). The rest of the space marine fire fails mostly but the lascannon devastators take another hull point off the closing morkanaught. One ork nob dies in a blizzard of 6 grav gun shots from both the grav gun and combi grav 1 shot weapon
The orks blow up the typhoon that was close to the morkanaught attempting to blast it from the side. The plasticrete bunker it was on was replaced by a crater. The nobz and the warboss advance towards the building with the round hole in it and the flash gitz charge the chaplain and his now 4 man squad, who were calmly watching their brethren being butchered and reciting verses from the Catechisms Martial. The overwatch kills a flash git on the charge and another dies in the combat but all the marines die. The chaplain elected to use the fist instead of the crozius in a moment of immense stupidity. The gitz consolidate. The morkanaught repairs a hull point. The artillery gretchin finally rally.
Early pictures
empty's pictures
---
chem's pictures
Turn 4
The marines continue to fire at the orks but fail to do much damage except for killing the warboss, with sly shots from the grav gunner to the side crushing him in his eavy armour. The talon fails to hit the morkanaught.
An ork nob seizes the relic and starts moving it back towards the waiting furniture pick-up walker/ morkanaught, whose front doors begin to open for the cargo. The other nobz charge the captain and the 5 man squad with the meltagun. The captain and his marines die under the blades of the nobz. The artillery gretchin fail to hit the stormtalon with their AA gun.
Turn 5
The storm talon desperately switches to hover mode in an attempt to target the morkanaught again, without moving too far away. The final typhoon gets right behind the morkanaught and blasts it, failing to do anything. The devastators fail to penetrate the morkanaught's armour.
The ork nob loads the cargo onto the waiting morkanaught and it closes its doors and turns around, showing its back to the marines. The storm talon loses its final hull point and dies to a stray rokkit from a vehicle as the gretchin had failed to use their traktor kannon on it once more.
Turn 6
The marine lascannon devastators and the last typhoon fail to damage the morkanaught, now escaping with the relic.
The morkanaught moves forwards, charges the final typhoon which was behind it but is now in front of it, smashing it to pieces with its Claw of Mork or Possibly Gork and instantly slaying the crew.
At this point the game concludes as there was no chance that the marines cold claim the relic in one turn. As a sidenote both night fighting tests were failed, as this was a full 24/7 sunlight planet.
Late game pictures
empty's pictures
---
chem's pictures
Emptyhat - 4 vp (relic, slay the warlord)
Cheminhaler - 2 vp (first blood, slay the warlord)
Conclusion
The nob sat comfortably in the Armchair, within the belly of the Morkanaught, lighting a squigar and contemplating his own position within the Bad Moon Clan. As the marines ineffectual fire pinged off the back of the walker, the nob smiled, imagining the day he would challenge Lemon Steela. The old warboss had been seriously injured, crushed by his armour but the nob knew he would be back to claim his position of authority... only the nob knew on some instinctive level that if he attached enough dakka to the armchair it would force the great warboss to renegotiate. The nob was vastly happy, having appeased Mork greatly, or was it Gork?
)
