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Post by cheminhaler on Jul 3, 2017 7:02:06 GMT -5
*Presses the Reboot for 8th edition button*
Drats! I just dropped a plate of curried meatballs on the control panel. Quickly get the Dettol, WD-40, several jerry cans of petrol, matches, dirty rags, kerosene and a clipper lighter. Pronto!
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jul 3, 2017 12:11:53 GMT -5
++ARENA REBOOT INITIATED++
*Boots fly out of orifices in the Arena's walls and boot all present in their arses*
++ARENA REBOOT COMPLETE++
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Post by RedCuffs on Jul 3, 2017 13:39:29 GMT -5
*removes size 11 hobnailed boot from capacious arris* No Chem !!! ... Ensign Control Panel has just been discharged from sick bay after recovering from the broken jaw you gave her !!! And I'm not sure if the SS Argo Lictor has passed its Fire Safety assessment !!!
How did the curried meatballs taste by the way ? I'm getting peckish just thinking about them.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jul 5, 2017 4:35:21 GMT -5
I'm not a Control Panel beater!
*Carries on smashing the panel with a powered salmon*
They taste ... explosive.
*Throws explosive curried pirate meatballs and salmon around.*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jul 5, 2017 5:36:22 GMT -5
*catches curried meatball in mouth with the skill, dexterity and panache of a hungry, slobbering Border Collie*
*Weathers resulting explosion with Naso, Oro and Laryngo Pharynx*
I see Chem, you're actually fighting the hostile Power Salmon using Ensign Control Panel as a weapon ? Excellent tactical thinking Sir ... the Power Salmon would never have expected that. And I'm glad she's contributing to the fight as well as navigating the SS Argo Lictor through this storm, at low level and at night.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jul 6, 2017 4:29:38 GMT -5
It's a Warp Storm, which means we have to roll a D66 every turn and consult the Warp Storm Charts.
We rolled..... Warp Time, taking you back to the 80s, with the Pointer Sisters.
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Post by Trooper One-Nine-Seven-Four on Jul 6, 2017 19:30:40 GMT -5
Right-o...
*Assembles a bunch of Sisters (i.e., of Battle, of Silence) and then starts pointing at them*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jul 26, 2017 17:15:53 GMT -5
Random Battle Sister comes to life, looks at Trooper with an unblinking glare and takes objection at being pointed at.
Springs into action, A splash-spurt of bright red arterial blood ... One of troopers limbs is violently removed by "Sister Random" ... Who proceeds to beat Trooper with the soggy end of his detached limb ... To within an inch of his life ...
Scene turns into one of utter carnage ... Blood dripping off everywhere ... Ensign Control Panel smirks and sniggers uncontrollably ... but maintains control of the SS Argo Lictor ...
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Post by nutty on Jul 29, 2017 17:35:16 GMT -5
*wipes bits of curried meatball of his shirt*
Did someone order an 8 gallon drum of Dettol?
*holds out clipboard with a standard issue Munitorum sanitizer requisition form*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jul 29, 2017 17:42:06 GMT -5
Hey Nutty, save me some of that curried meatballs ... I haven't tried any yet.
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Post by nutty on Jul 30, 2017 6:43:39 GMT -5
Ofcourse!
*kneads a new meatball out of slightly linty curried meatball bits, and lobs it at Redcuffs*
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Post by RedCuffs on Jul 30, 2017 16:32:55 GMT -5
*Catches fluffy meatball "Border Collie" style. Gleefully and wide-eye chomps into juicy meatiness. Glob of juicy sauce spurts onto Sister Randoms breast ... plate*
"Sorry Miss ... Ma'am ... Your Eminentness ... "
Ensign Control Panel sniggers more yet still maintains control of the SS Argo Lictor.
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Post by cheminhaler on Jul 31, 2017 6:15:05 GMT -5
*Lines up the Eradicator nova cannon, aiming squarely at the control panel*
The data drives are corrupted!
*shoots the control panel, sending the airship into freefall*
We're going to crash land on Buckenham Carrs!
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Post by RedCuffs on Jul 31, 2017 8:55:28 GMT -5
Yeah ... nova Cannons do seem to have that effect on data drives
*anticipates impending catastrophic impact ... Buries self into Sister Random's ample bosom for safety ... pulls out 4G device and searches the meaning of "Buckenham Carrs"*
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Post by cheminhaler on Aug 1, 2017 4:22:11 GMT -5
*shoots Sister Random with the miniaturiser ray-gun, shrinking her to 32mm. *
A living Sisters of Battle model in 32mm and it moves and shoots you with a mini boltgun. Putting this on e-bay.. We can buy a new airship with the profits.
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Post by RedCuffs on Aug 1, 2017 4:53:58 GMT -5
*removes mini Sister Random from right nostril*
OWW !!! She's got sharp bits !!!
*looks around for a replacement "ample bosom" with which to take refuge*
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Post by Rolling Thunder on Aug 3, 2017 5:19:56 GMT -5
*Observes the Arena from the safety of orbit.*
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Post by RedCuffs on Aug 4, 2017 6:07:09 GMT -5
The SS Argo-Lictor continues to plummet earthward towards its impending destruction.
*freezes ... (stops looking for ample bosom substitute) ... looks around suspiciously ... turns to crew mates*
Anyone else here get the feeling we're being watched ?
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Post by cheminhaler on Aug 4, 2017 10:19:42 GMT -5
No, it's going skywards, not earthwards. Gravity seems to be having the opposite effect now that the 'Reverse' button has been turned on.
*Finds the Arena's Count Room and fills a suitcase with $30,000 of Monopoly money*
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Post by nutty on Aug 5, 2017 23:27:55 GMT -5
*notices that Cheminhaler has started looting*
*quietly sets of looking for the explosive curryball recipe in the kitchen*
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Post by RedCuffs on Aug 5, 2017 23:59:19 GMT -5
*Disappointed that there is no longer any valid reason to bury self into any opportune ample bosom*
"Seriously guys ... anyone else get the feeling that we're being watched"?
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Post by nutty on Aug 6, 2017 0:41:26 GMT -5
*emerges from the mess hall brandishing a ratling and an industrial sized whipped cream siphon*
"Watched? Not if I can help it!"
*starts covering the viewports in whippped cream*
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Post by cheminhaler on Aug 6, 2017 8:55:28 GMT -5
That's the chef! We're not supposed to currify him.. I think...
*checks the Kitchen Handbook*
No, only baconaisse, liquefied frog intestines and a snickers bar.
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Post by RedCuffs on Aug 6, 2017 9:21:11 GMT -5
Now if I'd have known we had a Rattling chef running the galley I wouldn't have spent all my hard earned Monopoly money wages on Pot Crap Noodle Nodules (carrion flavour with extra offal bits) from the crew mess deck vending machine.
*looks up and down and over both shoulders*
Are you sure crewmates ... I still feel like we're being watched ...
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Post by nutty on Aug 6, 2017 9:40:28 GMT -5
"Here, it was starting to bite anyway"
*hands the ratling to cheminhaler*
"Continues covering the viewports with cream"
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